It's always something

12/8/11
  
Well trying to maintain a good attitude sure is hard. Mike's car broke down last night on his way home. He had to push it into a gas station parking lot. So imagine this.... I went to get him. We tried to figure out how to go about getting his car home. We are very broke. No money to have his car towed. It was dark since it was close to 8:00pm. So we were going to try to pull it home with my car. The question was do we do it in the dark? Or do we wait until Friday when he is off of work and it's daytime? I thought at night there is less traffic than the daytime. So we went for it. This had to be about 20 miles going 35 mph. It was so nerve racking!!!!!! Mike was very nervous about doing this in the dark. We did it!!!! But now we only have one car. I'm not sure when we have the money to get it fixed. This could have really ruined our night. It did, but we both tried to keep a smile. We are happy the car is home and not at a gas station. We tried to relax and watch a movie last night. The movie was probably good. And from what my nephew said there was no more gruesome scenes. But I saw a woman being stabbed up and bloody. She was being murdered. I went to my room. Mike came with me. We watched something else. But it was close to bedtime. Needless to say I had a nightmare last night. I had a feeling that would happen. So from 2:00am onward I didn't sleep much. I woke up frequently. I hate when that happens. I get up feeling left over feelings from the dream. But I'm trying to let that go. Mike borrowed our neighbor's truck to go to work. So I can still make it to my therapy appointment. I am going to save this in drafts for now. I have to get ready. I want to finish this after I get back. I'm sure I will feel much better then.
Well I sure do have a lot more to add. I did feel better after therapy today. But on the way there my gas tank was on empty. I was trying to find a shell station so I could use our gas card. Like I said I only had $15 in the bank. When I left from therapy my gas light came on. I was on a search for the gas station. I found one in the nick of time. I was so relieved. My appointment went well. We talked about my blog and all that has been going on. She is happy to see how well I am doing. So we talked about making up a new treatment plan. We are going to work a lot more on mindfulness techniques. Also we will work on how to deal with my flashbacks, since those can still be a problem. I have to think about what I want to add to that. So I have some thinking to do. But I'm very excited about the idea of working on some different things. With that being said more happened in my day.
I got home and felt really happy with things. I was helping my nephew with some of his studying for his finals. My kids came home while I was doing that. So I redirected my focus onto them. I got them settled in, and started on their homework. Amber's friend really wanted her to come over and play. I spoke with her dad and we agreed she could go over at 3:30. He came to pick her up and we agreed on our usual time to have her home which was around 5:30. So I saw her off and came back inside to help Dylan finish his homework. I think she was gone 15 or 20 minutes. Dylan's friend from across the street came over to ask if Amber was at her friends house. He said that they heard Amber crying. I said I'm sure she is okay, because if she wasn't they would call me. It was 5 minutes and they were here. Amber had fell off their back porch. She was screaming. Her friend was crying hysterically. My poor neighbor, he was a wreck. His shirt was bloody and he was carrying Amber. She split her chin. It was bad. So off to the hospital we went. After we got in an exam room I realized she also bit her tongue pretty bad. Long story short, she got 3 stitches in her chin. They can't do anything about her tongue. So she can't eat. She tried so hard. Even ice cream hurt. I have to wonder what else is going to go wrong. The sky seems to be falling down on us.
With all of that I have managed to keep a smile. I was reassuring my neighbor that she would be okay. I told his daughter not to cry, that Amber will be fine. I got in my car calmly and drove to the hospital. I managed to calm Amber down before we got there.
Mike and I have just surrendered to the fact that things are going to go wrong. We just have to be happy it wasn't worse. We will tackle one thing at a time. I took Amber by her friends house on the way home. They were happy to see she was okay. Her friend gave her a minnie mouse doll to help her feel better. It was very sweet. They really are the best of friends. I find that to be very endearing. Again we could look at the bad and only see bad. But out of all of this I see two little girls who are developing a very beautiful friendship. The love and concern they have for each other is awesome. I'm grateful to be a witness to that. It is a rare flower in this world of weeds.

Thought for the day..... Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.
It means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.