11/15/11
  
I just wanted to check in, I haven't blogged in a few days. I'm doing okay right at the moment. Tomorrow Is my oldest son's birthday. If he were still alive he would be 19.
I'm not sure how I'm going to be just yet. I have had a couple of anxiety attacks over the last few days. But nothing so far today. I have been doing some exercises in my workbook. It focuses right now on mindfulness. Which is something I need. So I'm trying to keep myself in the present. But I will definitely acknowledge my son on his birthday. Hopefully I will have some busy things to keep my mind occupied. But as I said in my gratitude list I'm grateful for all of my children. Each one of them enriched my life. Just wish I would have had more time. I know we all think that about someone who passes away. But when they are still just kids who were healthy and fine. It seems extra hard. I still can't seem to find any peace in that. It was just senseless. Anyway, I will try to keep up on my blog. It seems to help me work through stuff. I have to get ready to take my nephew to school now. Keep an eye on my sayings to ponder. I will change them out from time to time. Have a good day.