Not much change today

1/9/12

   Well I still feel just as bad as I did last night. I'm jittery this morning. Mike and I are not speaking. It's okay, I don't want to say anything at this point. When I open my mouth something comes out wrong. Somehow today (not sure when) I want to try to work on some of my stuff for therapy. Mostly what went wrong yesterday was that I did not take time out to address how high my levels were. I did for a moment think about taking a bath and playing my calming music. But I felt so sick. I just had a cup of hot tea and went outside with mike. Outside was not a good idea because like I said our eyes and conversations would end up being focused on next door. I'm not sure how good blogging is anymore. That happens to be another thing I don't do right. Mike is uncomfortable with my writing about our family stuff on here. So I don't have a lot of outlets left. Just my therapy. Because he says we are so broke I feel like I have to be careful not to spend any of our money on things. So I don't know how long therapy will continue. He wants me to work. Which is fine, but I don't have skills and I haven't had a job in like 8 years. So it will be minimum wage. Not sure how I will be able to get Cody to school. Anyway that will be my problem nobody else's. I don't want anyone to think bad of my husband. He just can't get over money issues. It stays locked in his head. I can only deal with me. That is all I have the power to do. I think I might not post on here for awhile. Ive been feeling like I'm talking to myself anyway. Which I do enough of that without sitting on a computer. That is all folks. Thanks for reading.