Getting back on track

 9/20/11
  
Today is a new day. So that means it's time to get back on track. I have a therapy session this week. It will be with my husband. We are trying to learn how to properly talk to each other. I know we will get the hang of things with some work. It has been a tough few days for me. I have been trying not to think about the guilt too much. It has made me have very sad days. One positive thing that happened to me the other day was something my son said. He just out of nowhere said, I love you mom. I'm really glad your my mom, and dad is my dad. I was cleaning his bathroom, he was in his room sick. It caught me by surprise. I had to stop for a second and take that in. I smiled and said to him, I'm really glad your my son. It's really funny how you can be going on with your day and out of the blue something happens to make you really happy. It's those simple moments that mean the most. That statement from my son was the best part of my whole day. It made me feel like I'm doing something right. Now if he says that when he is a teenager then I really did something right. I'm still trying to figure out how to create some productive time for myself. It's really easy to keep things the way they are. It takes a lot of effort to change. So I need to start by making some sort of schedule. And when it's time for me to do me projects then I have to put everyone and everything else aside. So I will be posting on how that is going. I know lately my posts may not be that interesting. But that's life, some days are up and others are down. I've been on a down side for the last couple of days. Fighting my mind is very tiring. That's where I have been. In my head. So I'm working to get myself out of there. It's been cloudy out the last few days. That seems to sap my energy as well. I don't look forward to winter. That can be a very depressing time. Too cold and dreary looking to feel like doing anything. So I thought I would start off with doing my blog and go from there. My kids will be coming home from school soon. Which means my focus will be on helping them get homework done. Tomorrow I would like to get my schedule done so I have a clear picture of my day. I'm hoping some of my down mood will fade soon. I don't like it. Everything I do feels like an effort. I will post tomorrow. Thanks for listening.