Confused

10/26/11
  
I got up almost an hour ago and got the kids off to school. Pretty normal stuff. I like seeing them get on the bus and go to school. They are so funny in the morning. As I was saying, I have been in the present mostly. I feel that I have been doing very well trying to deal with the everyday stuff. I have been really happy about that. It helps me feel more normal. But in the middle of all of that, I had another dream last night. It wasn't really a bad dream. Just the same I find that I feel a bit confused by it. Where are they coming from? It was about my first husband and his family. Dreams are a weird thing. They say they have some kind of meaning that comes from somewhere in your brain. I haven't been thinking about that part of my life that I'm aware of. I have some birthdays coming up over the next two months. Usually they upset me. But I don't feel like I'm looking ahead to set myself up for feeling bad. I guess this is where my therapist said I have to come up with a statement true to me to say out loud to these thoughts. I have to say no, I'm not going to go there. It's kind of comparable to a drug addict who is recovering. They could be going through life just fine even have some time under their belt without drugs. Then all of a sudden there goes the thoughts. They may not understand why they even came up. It can be easier to just give in to what they have always done, than to fight it. So I'm going to fight back and try hard to keep my peace of mind. I have a lot going on over the next few days to keep me busy. My anniversary is tomorrow. Friday night the kids have a fall festival to go to at school. And Saturday is my nephew's birthday (17) and our neighborhood chili cook off. It should be lots of fun. Thank you for reading. I may not understand where these dreams come from, but I will keep moving forward.