Taking time for ourselves

9/13/11
  
So now you have the visuals in your head. I think it's really beautiful when you think about it. I can feel those images in my daily life. So the kids are never far away. I'm also trying to learn how to be me independently. I have always been something for someone. Or I have relied on my relationships too much. This is a very hard one for me. I said before I have to take time for me. I do. I write this blog, and walk my dog daily. But I can do better than that. I'm still a work in progress. When I get stressed or anxious about something, I still want to run to Mike. And if that doesn't go well I get more upset. I still have to learn how to break that. My therapist said I have to stop doing that. And that one day I'm going to realize that I'm ok. That it will come from within me. And when that happens I won't need anyone to make me feel ok. I will do it for myself. That can be hard to do. But then again if you think about it, Is it really all that difficult? In the end isn't it ourselves who help us feel better? I know for me if I stop and tell myself, ok you need to breathe for a minute. Or don't be so upset, it's going to be ok. Then I feel better. Isn't that true for us all? We have power over ourselves. We decide how stressed we are going to be. We decide how upset we are going to be. It's not on anyone else. So another tool I have in my tool kit is relaxation techniques. Deep breathing.... How silly right? Wrong. I thought so for a long time. Then we started therapy sessions with that. Wow, how great that is. Tension lessens. Yesterday I did something really cool with Mike. I wish everyone had a place like this down the street. We went to a place where a river flows over some huge rocks. There are class 4 rapids there. Anyway, I discovered this on Sunday. My neighbors took me there after we went fishing with our kids. It was awesome!!!!! So I had to take Mike. We got to go by ourselves. The trees line both sides of the river. The sky was blue. The sun was warm. The sound of the water rushing was so relaxing. There are little water falls as it pushes over rocks. We sat on some rocks right in the middle of the river. So water was all around us. I can still hear it. Mike and I talked and took in some deep breaths. All of our stress went away. We spent a couple of hours there. It was a simple thing. Enjoying nature. It was free. It doesn't get any better than that. Times are hard now. I know all of you can agree. We always worry about paying our bills. Rushing back and forth from work. How we are going to do this or get that. If we are going to make it at all. Am I right? If we don't fill ourselves with good stuff along the way, we are all going to drown in the sea of life. I still go under sometimes. I'm just trying to learn how to pop back up for air quicker. We have to forgive ourselves when we fall. I'm still working on that!!!! I like to share these things because I myself get amazed on how easy all of this is. And yet we make things so difficult for ourselves. The world would be a better place if more people took time to do these things. One of my favorite childhood books is Ferdinand. Does anyone remember that? He was the bull who stopped to smell the flowers. I got it for my kids recently. Read it!!! It's a good life lesson. Thanks again for all of your comments. It helps me feel that sharing my life with all of you isn't for nothing. I really wasn't sure if anyone would read this. I know it goes around on facebook. I may never know how many people are following. But I do hope that someone who reads this takes something good from something so bad. I don't really feel I'm doing anything special. I'm just trying to heal. I'm discovering that the things that happen to us don't have to rule our lives. It's what we do with it that counts. I'll leave you with that today. Take time to smell the flowers... you'll be glad you did.